Summertime Dysfunction Detox
This Summer you and I are going to join forces to melt away layers of dysfunctional relating and stop the drama cycle once and for all!
June 21st - September 21st
Do you feel like dysfunctional relationship patterns send you into spirals of self-loathing, self-destruction, depression, self-sabotage, and stressful ups and downs?
Do you find that no matter how successful you are in other areas of your life, you can’t seem to kick one or both of those decadent flavors of partners: Addict in Denial and Untreated Narcissist?
If so, you may feel like your whole life needs a cleanse - and you'd be right.
We think we’re doing everything right.
We are so nice to our loves. We give them everything under the sun. We are sweeter and more thoughtful and loving than anyone they’ve ever met before. Maybe some of them even tell us this when we’re first dating. We’re understanding! We make their lives easier. We meet all their needs. We even find them therapy and books to help them with their issues. Why can’t they see that nobody can save them like we can?
And after a while the pattern emerges that no matter what - they won’t even meet us half way. They don’t even reciprocate a fraction of what we do for them. We start to feel like no matter what we do we're just not good enough for them to try. They’re not always there for us when we need them like we imagined they’d be. They drown themselves in their phones, drinking, or just about anything else other than our embrace. They make us feel like we’re so high maintenance, demanding, needy, “too much”, “too ____” when we try to connect like we used to.
So, we try to be less clingy. We try to be easy-going, the cool partner. Nothing is a big deal.
You may look around and wonder how other people with bad tempers, "high maintenance demands," and impossibly high standards have people who want to date them, adore them, and marry them - but your partners can't seem to manage planning a date once in a while.
Or you silently study people who keep getting dumped, and commit to never being like them, so that you can be loved.
We try trusting the universe, surrendering to G-d, and looking for signs.
We’re constantly trying to find the next tip or trick to fix this relationship into the fulfilling union we want it to be.
We may try to improve our home keeping skills, learn cooking, sewing, fixing stuff, sex tricks; maybe we try being patient, leaning back, getting more involved etc, etc, etc..
Somebody would be out of their mind to not appreciate us or even risk losing us, right?
But lose us they do, when after all of our efforts and jumping through hoops the relationship just implodes anyway.
And what’s even worse is finding ourselves in variations of these dismal relationship situations over and over again.
Why can’t we get it right!? Why does this stuff only happen to us all the time?
We start thinking, “There must be something wrong with me,” or, "There's something wrong with THEM," repeating some variation of all men/women are trash, people just don't know how to love anymore, social media ruined relationships.
Perhaps you've dedicated years to trying to fix this pattern already - many of my clients have. (I know I did!)
Maybe you've gone to therapy, or have become an armchair expert on narcissist personality disorder.
Maybe you binge-watch Youtube videos about dysfunctional relationships and what to do.
Maybe after relationships (or in them) you immerse yourself in your kids, or home keeping, religion, making art, exercising, yoga, etc..
Or perhaps you go the other way, and you cope with your intense negative feelings by drowning yourself in vices ranging from substances to new lovers to rekindling an unsatisfying cycle with a disappointing ex, just for the thrill of it….
Whether it's with busying yourself or numbing out, you try to do whatever it takes to feel better and not feel that hole in your heart.
But whatever you’re doing, you’re feeling alone, rejected, and uncared for whether you have a partner or not.
If you're nodding along as you reading this, thinking "YES! I've tried EVERYTHING, the years are going by, and NOTHING WORKS!" then I want to take you by the hands and tell you - I have been there and I get it!!
First of all, I want you to know that you are a magnificent being, and you are absolutely 100% lovable. No matter what others have said, or how they have treated you, I know that this is true. The problem is NOT that you aren't loveable. You are not broken, nor are you doomed to have unsatisfying relationships forever.
Now hold that in your heart, and take a deep breath.
The Summertime Dysfunction Detox.
In this highly customized 3 month journey, you and I are going to work together to change your life, from the inside out.
Month 1 - Learn the secrets of what is blocking you from living the life you really want.
- We're gonna bravely dive deep and unfold WHY you attract what you attract, and why these situations keep replaying themselves over and over again.
- We're gonna learn how your brain works when it comes to dysfunction, and how to gently work WITH our dysfunction rather than fight it, to begin to change it and end it.
- Once we discover exactly what dysfunctions are keeping you stuck on replay, we are gonna get into the deep inner work, using systems of East and West, to begin changing our dysfunctional ways into healthy and functional ways that work and feel like second nature.
Month 2 - Build boundaries like a boss so you can always say no to what doesn't serve you, without fear or anxiety.
- Changing lifelong patterns and wiring is only for the boldest and bravest and not an easy task. Many fail. But you will not, because you will have me holding your hand the entire way as we begin making and enforcing new patterns.
- You're gonna learn and master the elusive art of exactly how to love yourself, because not all of us were taught how, and as we both know, nobody has ever explained this well in a satisfying way that makes sense.
- Learn how to be TURNED OFF and repulsed by others' negative behaviors instead of working harder to make dysfunctional relationships "work" (they don't work, otherwise they wouldn't be dysfunctional).
Month 3 - Learn to navigate your love life without losing yourself.
- Whether partnered or dating or single, we can really be flooded with overwhelming emotions and demons with our insecurities and trauma. But now we will learn to navigate all of this with ease and peace, and get our needs met all along the way.
- Enjoy a fulfilling social life and community that uplifts and supports you without stress, resentment, or obligations that have you running yourself ragged.
- Learn to enjoy your alone time instead of feeling isolated and lonely. Whether you have a partner or not won't even matter because you will be loved on either way.
- Learn to recognize healthy partners and be turned off by the temptations of our dyfunctional past.
- Learn to catch and redirect yourself when you find yourself wanting to slip into the comfort of old dysfunctional patterns that lead nowhere good.
Payment Plan ,